Comedian George Carlin Dies

The amazingly talented comedian George Carlin has died at age 71. Carlin succumbed to heart failure at 5:55pm Sunday at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica California.

Carlin was a comic revolutionary. He is world renowned for pushing the limits of censorship. His stand-up routine "The Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV." got so much attention that Carlin was arrested in 1972 at a Milwaukee performance for disturbing the peace.

George Carlin's 7 words were aired on a New York radio station that resulted in the 1978 Supreme Court ruling that upheld the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language.

In honor of George Carlin, here is the infamous routine of "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV."

In remembrance of George Carlin, I plan on using all 7 words as many times as possible today. It's Monday, so share them with your boss...I'm sure he/she will appreciate them.

[poll=28]

Excerpt from one of George Carlin's many performances:

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some that would have you not use certain words. There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7, Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember? "That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits"

Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits" Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there.

I'm not completely insensitive to people's feelings. I can understand why some of those words got on the list, like Cocksucker and Motherfucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on there.

Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you like "COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER. "

It's like an assault on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. A little accidental humor there. The reason that Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now."

And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more accidental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very important word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree.

It is a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay, Sheriff, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."

So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word. I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed, and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget those 7. They're out.

But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.

Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock CROWED 3 times" "Hey, the cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that goes with that one is Prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You can prick your finger but don't finger your prick. No,no."

Exclusive Photo of Jamie Lynn Spears’ Baby Girl

Exclusive first look at Jamie Lynn Spears' beautiful baby girl The family resemblance is uncanny! With fists shaking this little darling is sure to keep the paparazzi in photos for years to come.

Everyone give Maddie Briann Spears/Aldridge a giant welcome to the world of pop-stars, paparazzi and white trash!

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl today. Jamie was received at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb at 4am this morning.

During an ultrasound last week, imaging showed Jamie's baby could possible be in the breech position. The newest edition to the Spears family, Maddie Briann was delivered via C-section around 8:30am Central Standard Time.

I think the first picture is a much more realistic photo.  You know Jamie probably photo shopped the hell out of the next picture.

Maddie Briann. Jamie was quick to post it on her MySpace page.

[poll=27] jamie lynn spears

Jonah Hill Makes Fat Men Proud

Jonah Hill is no beef-cake by any stretch of the word, but somehow this tub of lard has scored a sweet look'n hottie.

[poll=26]

Zac Efron Mania = 3 Million Dollars

No matter how you look at it, Zac Efron is having a kick ass year.  Winning the 2008 Breakthrough Performance MTV Movie Award for  his role in Hairspray is just icing on the cake.

The studios are taking notice of Zac's ability to draw a crowd (both male and female).

Zac has shaken his money maker straight to the top and is getting a lot of movie deals sent his way.  He’s already signed on for High School Musical 3 for a cool 3 million dollars.

Not bad Zac...not bad at all.

Make a game | Tightrope Zac | Free games | Pictogame

How Ugly is Your Face?

The time old question... how ugly and stupid are you? 

A new app by the name of FaceStat finally gives you the answers.  FaceStat takes pictures of faces from users Facebook profile and gives results on:

Age

Attractiveness

Ethnicity

Funniness

Gender

Intelligence

Intoxication

Political Affiliation

Relationship Status

Trustworthiness

Wealth

Weight

FaceStat will let you put up 1 free picture a day assuming the web site hasn't crashed.