Ungulate:

1. Hoofed mammals such as camels, cattle, and swine.
2. Having hooves.
3. Resembling hooves; hooflike.

There are numerous breeds and ages of celebrity ungulates that roam throughout the concrete jungles of Los Angeles and New York.

Wildlife can be beautiful, but it can also be filled with horrible cruelty. Life in the concrete jungles can be tough for these pampered creatures.

Enjoy the wildlife!

Kate Beckinsale is a vivacious ungulate with wide open plains in front of her. She’ll be stomping that hoof for a long time to come!

Ashanti is a fighting ungulate. Here we see her using her defensive posture. Flapping her arms and thrusting her hoof forward in an attempt to scare off predators.

Britney Spears is a naive ungulate. Paying no attention to her surroundings, leaving her hoof completely exposed for attack.

Brooke Hogan is a fearless ungulate. Prancing her hoof all about while spewing guttural sounds to all who will listen.

Heidi Klum is an alpha ungulate. Strong and fierce, she stands amongst her herd with hoof ready to attack.

Jessica Simpson is a cautious ungulate. Here we see her pulling on her blue hoof holder, making certain her hoof is snuggly protected from the elements.

Miley Cyrus is a young ungulate just beginning to explore the grazing grounds. In the wild, young ungulates are forced to grow up quickly. Even though not yet fully developed, Miley is proudly displaying her hoof and position in the celebrity herd.

Mischa Barton is a battered but not beaten ungulate. Although her hoof has clearly been trampled, she some how manages the strength to limp through the concrete jungle.

Pamela Anderson was once an ungulate of great beauty, whose hoof glistened in the sunshine. These days it takes an army of personal hoof assistants to get her hoof to shine for even the briefest moment. It’s definitely time to set this ungulate out to pasture.

Paris Hilton is a dim witted ungulate that has over exposed her hoof on numerous occasions. Most ungulates shy away from the predators of the concrete jungle, but this celebrity ungulate repeatedly taunts them with her hoof.

Rebecca Romjin is a captured ungulate. This graphic image shows Rebecca’s hoof being spot lighted by ungulate hunters. It is clear that her hoof has been netted.

Linda Carter is a rarely seen species of the ungulate family (scientific name Wonderous Womanous). Dawning a sleek blue coat this tough and hearty ungulate revels in showing off it’s powerful blue hoof. It’s clear this hoof was made for stomping!

With that one thought Clooney’s craptastic electric car the Tango was traded in for a more suitable vehicle for someone of his incredible hotness. The Tesla Roadster.

The Tesla Roadster is one sweet ass electric sports car. This electric car is far from embarrassing with a respectable speed of 0-60 in four seconds.

 Loading …

Carlin was a comic revolutionary. He is world renowned for pushing the limits of censorship. His stand-up routine “The Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV.” got so much attention that Carlin was arrested in 1972 at a Milwaukee performance for disturbing the peace.

George Carlin’s 7 words were aired on a New York radio station that resulted in the 1978 Supreme Court ruling that upheld the government’s authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language.

In honor of George Carlin, here is the infamous routine of “The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV.”

In remembrance of George Carlin, I plan on using all 7 words as many times as possible today. It’s Monday, so share them with your boss…I’m sure he/she will appreciate them.

 Loading …

Excerpt from one of George Carlin’s many performances:

“I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They’re my work, they’re my play, they’re my passion.

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we’re stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some that would have you not use certain words. There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7, Bad Words. That’s what they told us they were, remember? “That’s a bad word!” No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words. You know the 7, don’t you, that you can’t say on television?

“Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits”

Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that’ll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.

“Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits” Wow! …and Tits doesn’t even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? “Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.” It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don’t mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One.” That’s true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there.

I’m not completely insensitive to people’s feelings. I can understand why some of those words got on the list, like Cocksucker and Motherfucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on there.

Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they’re just busy words. There’s a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you like “COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER. “

It’s like an assault on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. A little accidental humor there. The reason that Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said “Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I don’t mind Fuck and Shit but ‘P’ and ‘C’ are out.”, which led to such stupid sentences as “Okay you fuckers, I’m going to tinkle now.”

And, of course, the word Fuck. I don’t really, well that’s more accidental humor, I don’t wanna get into that now because I think it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very important word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said, “I’d rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree.

It is a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I’d like to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. “Okay, Sheriff, we’re gonna Fuck you now, but we’re gonna Fuck you slow.”

So maybe next year I’ll have a whole fuckin’ ramp on the N word. I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed, and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget those 7. They’re out.

But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.

Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? “…And the cock CROWED 3 times” “Hey, the cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it’s in the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say “Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.”, but he can’t say “I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don’t you? He’s holding them. He must’ve hurt them, by God.” and the other 2-way word that goes with that one is Prick. It’s okay if it happens to your finger. You can prick your finger but don’t finger your prick. No,no.”

Exclusive first look at Jamie Lynn Spears’ beautiful baby girl The family resemblance is uncanny! With fists shaking this little darling is sure to keep the paparazzi in photos for years to come.

Everyone give Maddie Briann Spears/Aldridge a giant welcome to the world of pop-stars, paparazzi and white trash!

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl today. Jamie was received at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb at 4am this morning.

During an ultrasound last week, imaging showed Jamie’s baby could possible be in the breech position. The newest edition to the Spears family, Maddie Briann was delivered via C-section around 8:30am Central Standard Time.

I think the first picture is a much more realistic photo.  You know Jamie probably photo shopped the hell out of the next picture.

Maddie Briann. Jamie was quick to post it on her MySpace page.

 Loading …

jamie lynn spears

The studios are taking notice of Zac’s ability to draw a crowd (both male and female). 

Zac has shaken his money maker straight to the top and is getting a lot of movie deals sent his way.  He’s already signed on for High School Musical 3 for a cool 3 million dollars.

Not bad Zac…not bad at all.

Make a game | Tightrope Zac | Free games | Pictogame

A new app by the name of FaceStat finally gives you the answers.  FaceStat takes pictures of faces from users Facebook profile and gives results on:

FaceStat will let you put up 1 free picture a day assuming the web site hasn’t crashed.

Apparantly, Cagle and Tant were having a good o’l knock down drag out when the cops were called.  The Po-Po said the couple was drunk and then their loud argument became physical.  Both Chris and Jennifer were detained for a mandatory 12 hour jail spa day.

If ya gotta know where the details on Tramonto’s here they are:
Rick Tramonto’s Tramonto Steak and Seafood
Westin Chicago North Shore
601 N. Milwaukee Ave.
Wheeling, IL 60090
847-777-6575

Hours: Tramonto’s: 5-10 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 5-11 p.m., Friday and Saturday
RT Lounge: 4 p.m.-midnight, Monday through Thursday; 4 p.m.-1 a.m., Friday and Saturday; 3-11 p.m., Sunday.