Comedian George Carlin Dies

The amazingly talented comedian George Carlin has died at age 71. Carlin succumbed to heart failure at 5:55pm Sunday at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica California.

Carlin was a comic revolutionary. He is world renowned for pushing the limits of censorship. His stand-up routine "The Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV." got so much attention that Carlin was arrested in 1972 at a Milwaukee performance for disturbing the peace.

George Carlin's 7 words were aired on a New York radio station that resulted in the 1978 Supreme Court ruling that upheld the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language.

In honor of George Carlin, here is the infamous routine of "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV."

In remembrance of George Carlin, I plan on using all 7 words as many times as possible today. It's Monday, so share them with your boss...I'm sure he/she will appreciate them.

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Excerpt from one of George Carlin's many performances:

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some that would have you not use certain words. There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7, Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember? "That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits"

Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits" Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there.

I'm not completely insensitive to people's feelings. I can understand why some of those words got on the list, like Cocksucker and Motherfucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on there.

Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you like "COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER. "

It's like an assault on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. A little accidental humor there. The reason that Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now."

And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more accidental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very important word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree.

It is a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay, Sheriff, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."

So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word. I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed, and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget those 7. They're out.

But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.

Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock CROWED 3 times" "Hey, the cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that goes with that one is Prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You can prick your finger but don't finger your prick. No,no."

Indiana Jones: Hero or Killer

We all love the brave and witty Indiana Jones, but did you know about his dark side?  This video puts our beloved hero Indiana Jones in a whole new light.

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34690336

Vanessa Hudgens just a Stupid Kid?

It's been almost 4 months since the scandalous nude photo of Vanessa Hudgens has found it's way onto the web.  Zac Efron's 19 year old love interest *cough - beard* Vanessa Hudgens is still whining about not having privacy.

Repeatedly calling the photo "private" in the latest issue of Seventeen magazine.

Vanessa whined about getting caught. "It's very unfortunate, because with the internet these days, you don't have a personal life...Nothing is private: Everyone knows everything, and they can find out everything about you.  You're not as safe as you think you are, and you have to be aware of the people you're around.  It was something that was meant to be private, and even though it isn't anymore, I'd still like to keep it as private as I can." Says Vanessa to Seventeen magazine.

This little harlot waffles like a politician.  In earlier statements she whines and apologizes to fans stating that she was embarrassed and regretted ever taking the photos, but in her magazine interview she's just bummed that she got caught.  Wah, wah, wah.

Vanessa told Seventeen about what happened when she confronted her mom.  "I was just open with her, and she was just so cute. She was like, 'Well, everyone can be naked if they want to,..." "My parents are very supportive of me. And they know I'm a teenager, and yes, kids do stupid things sometimes."

Before Vanessa's ta-ta's and woo hoo got splattered all over the internet, most of America didn't know who the hell this chick was.  Vanessa should be thanking those crappy friends of hers who released the photo, cause everyone knows who she is now!

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So where can you finds this nude photo?  The first link that you click on here is safe but the second click through will be Vanessa in the buff and obviously NSFW.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt is Pregnant – Good bye hot body

The big breasted hottie of tv shows "Ghost Whisperer", Jennifer Love-Hewitt is knocked up.

Tabloids had recently taken some jabs at Jennifer and her new curvy body.  Which seemed to really piss her off.

“Size two (UK size 6) is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size zero doesn’t make you beautiful.

“I know what I look like and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.” says Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

All this ranting over weight from Jennifer tells me one thing, that father-to-be and fiancé Ross McCall should be afraid...very afraid.  He better get used to the idea of the "After Baby" look.  Thanks a lot jerkass, way to mess up a hot looking babe!

What did Jennifer and Ross think of being pregnant?

“Jennifer was shocked, but at the same time she was ecstatic with the news.”

“It wasn’t planned, but now that it’s happened Jennifer and Ross are both very happy.” a source close to Jennifer says.

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Britney Spears Loses Custody of her Children

Britney has finally made the ultimate celebrity oops.  Britney Spears lost custody of her children to Kfed.  Federline’s attorney Mark Kaplan took a trip to Los Angeles Superior Court Monday morning to rat Britney out for driving illegally.  Shame, shame, shame.  This past weekend Britney was cruising around without a valid drivers license with her children in the car.

The Los Angeles judge took away Spears’ custody rights and gave Federline 100% full physical custody of the boys.  Britney is ordered to turn her children over to Federline by Wednesday.  The Spears’ boys are to stay with Daddy Loser until further notice.

Here is the exact wording of the ruling:

“Respondent’s oral motion pursuant to section 214FC is granted and the matter proceeds as a closed hearing.  The court and all parties present confer on the record that the court makes its order as fully reflected in the notes of the official court reporter. The court’s  prior order including the orders made on September 28, 2007 remain in full force and effect with the following modification: Respondent is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday October  3rd, 2007 at 12 PM until further order of the Court. Repondent’s ex- parte application is noticed for October 3, 2007 at 1:30 PM in  Department 88.”

Brit and Federline had 50/50 shared custody of the children until todays events.  I just can’t see K-fed doing a great job bringing up the boys.  It’s in my nature to slam celebs, but I actually feel for celebrities in this situation. 

There probably isn’t a parent alive that hasn’t done something that would have been considered bad parenting by social services if paparazzi was following their every move.  My own mom dropped my older brother on his head once (jerk is still smarter than me).  My sister-in-law left her infant (now 15yrs. old son) in the sun (man that was 1 red ass kid).   Both of these women are wonderful moms, but stuff happens when you’re a parent.   The younger the parent is the more stuff tends to happen.

So, yeah I kinda feel for Britney.  She’s a young mom, she loves her kids, but she’s irresponsible. Britney can’t walk outside without being hounded with the flashing lights from the cameras of the paparazzi.  She has body guards, nannies and mannies.  What kid has more people watching over them than that? 

Still social services is of the belief that the boys will be better off with Daddy Spears.  Kevin Federline is a money grubbing uber-turd that knocked up a pop-star.  If the kids and Spears didn’t get his face in the news and more money in his bank account I totally think he’d just be another dead beat dad.  

 

 

 

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Vanessa Hudgens – Naughty, Nude, Nice!

Holy Moly, Christmas came early!  I want to thank all of the celebrities out there for having incredibly bad judgement on picking friends and lovers.

Nude and naughty photographs were released of this once wholesome Disney princess.  Now we know she's just as skanky as all the other Hollywood girls. -- Shocker.

A source told the Enquirer "Vanessa took some suggestive shots of herself in the buff as a surprise for Zac."

The Enquirer reported that a third party has obtained the sexy pictures that were meant just for Vanessa and Zac.  "Vanessa's only 18, so she had no idea how her flirtatious act could threaten the future of the multimillion-dollar plans Disney has for the show," said the source.  "She just wanted to keep Zac interested."

Here at CelebrityMooch, we think it's gonna take a lot more than chic pics to keep Zac interested...

These photos smacked the wholesome and righteous Disney conglomroate smack dab in the face.  "It's a kids' show, aimed a children, teenagers and their parents and starring a bunch of cute, wholesome youngsters,""Naked pictures of one of the stars would be catastrophic.  "It could bring the whole 'High School Musical' franchise to its knees." says a show insider.

In a statement to TMZ, Vanessa Hudgens' rep said, "This was a photo which was taken privately. It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public."

So where can you finds this nude photo?  The first link that you click on here is safe but the second click through will be Vanessa in the buff and obviously NSFW.

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